Malay Entry

Issues

I Need To Find Myself

I'm Being Myself

Mixed Feelings

Another Week Long Off

Wondering

Gila Ba Bangs

Sorry And Thank You(s)

Guilty

February 2006

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February 2010

credits

original: detonatedlove♥
pictures: owner's own

I've yet to get things all typed down. I dont really have evrything in mind rite now. theres a lot of things jus dat i dunno where to start it off.. ferst few dayswas sucky, yes yes.. im trying to adjust to the environment of self centered people and such.. soo i opened up to some of these losers.. yea yea.. fcuk it.. i dun cre if ppl read my blog.. Leadership or wadveer blearghs! HOW CAN U HAVE A FCUKING FUTURE SERGEANT DAT LOOKS LIKE BOOKWORMS???
get my point.. for those who knew well enough.. nerds n me, dun mix well together.. jus like shit n vodka.. apart from dat, i thank god that my bunk mates are the funkiest of them lot..
we noe wad we're doing n we dun have chao keng-ers...

okok.. im now in the midst fo baking choc cookies.. hahahah!!! n im booking in later at 2050..
hehe.. i managed to do sme light shopping..
OFFER LEHZ!!!
soo wad did i get myself..
I got a..
Victoria's Secret Double Body Mist; Candy - Gift from Izan who asked me out the moment i entered home on Friday.
Working Class Hero by NUM - It was on a 20% weekend offer.. can't resist.
Gold/Yellow Mesh Cap by Converse - It was also on SALE... hahaha!!!

okok.. im packing my jumbo field pack now..
im bringing along my portable speaker..
and to dem losers.. i still train my dance; in terms of stretchings in camp!!! hahahahah!!!
in other words..

my split is dere oready.. i just need to get used to it...
hahaha!!

bye fucktards!!!
LIGHTS OUT!



wooots~~~
Hello bloppers! yessa! its finally my turn to be a National Slave.. geez.. din noe dis day came earlier den expected, first it was no letters.. den came the medical chck up.. no biggie.. den came the enlistment notice.. still no biggie.. den came 2mths.. still no biggie.. den came 1mth.. still no biggie.. den lieft dance.. den i left Starbucks.. still no biggie.. den 1wk.. okok ar, my heart strted to tune into reggaeton heartbeats.. den came the day before enlistment.. fcuk, ni bukan reggaeton lagi sak, ni dah hard core speed metal.

I'm having this 50/50 feeling bout NS.. haha!! i dun cre abt it actually. the part tht i care is that im separated frm my loved ones, n forced to mke frens with new (maybe) loved ones.. but chills, i prefer my FAB4 to anything, and the scumbags it cmes with.. u guys rawk. Eh not forgetting my GFs frm BBYY gang!!!

Met some of them tht i can meet just now, fuuh~ last time to meet them before i gt in. damn, i noe time is like short jus nw.. 1hour seemed like 10secs, time jus moved soo soo fast. Gosh im lost for words.. neting guys, jus msg me, thts the fastest way to get thru me.. or u can leave a msg over at my hme phone.. maybe one of my sibs will take ur order.. hahaha!!! or well.. leave a tag msg.. anything lar eh.. snail mail pon jadi ar, but i dunno hw long it will tke to reach to me.. hoho!

K people, im done for now.. i love u guys.. i love my dancers, i love my lepak mates, i love my GFs and of coz i love my family. and and.. i love u my Girlfriend (padahal aku single, how?)

this isnt gonna b e last time u guys gonna hear frm me.. soo long suckas!!!
=)) (im actually holding back tears)






Goodbye my friend and brother.
Yessa!!! Dearest Alepo 'Jalil' Sanchez Castello is finally enlisted. I was dere throughout the whole enlistment programme which took nearly 4 hours alongside Phat 'The Man' and Haiqal 'Sam'.
Watching his mom cry.. gosh!!! i can feel it..

Bro, if ure reading it somewhere, me and Fa2 are holding back our tears as we noe ure holding back urs too!!! takmo maintain macho eh! haha!! we're proud of u Popo.

Soo 2more days..
i shaved my head.. and i'm ready to go!
chalo readers!



Dear Mom,
How i wished im still dat fetus inside you. How i wished i was dat baby u yearn to give birth to after dat 9mth wait. But i was wrong. U never cared for me. U made me do things i dun want to just to get ur attention. Its funny how i like the feeling of u scolding me, for at least i gt attention. But i din get the attention dat u showered to my elder bro.

I dun blame him for being more perfect than me. I tried to win ur heart. But never managed to. I dun hate u but i despise ur attitude. I noe favoritism is all arnd, happen in all families, but u need not need to show it to me. U dun need to show.. u seriously dun need to. It hurts me whenever u compare me with my brother.

I fixed the house, i fixed wiring.. i do anything i can arnd the house, even if its risks me getting shockd jus to gt ur acknowledgement.. But, im never appreciated. Mama, im goin NS soon, wad if i wun see u again, will u still remember me? It hurts me ma.. it hurts me to see u showing favoritism time n time again. Had u once apologised for hurting me? never..

For once please, hug me like before.. make me feel secure. Of coz, i will show im disgusted if u wanna hug me, but inside, i know ita whole diffrent feeling. Mama, i love you.. please dun hurt my feelings.. please..

I passed my Os, 18points.. Zad made it to 12pts. 6points diffrent.. it was a "abang ko dapat lagi tinggi dari kau".. i still remember those words. I passed my license u din even bother. I performed fr National Day, i took part in competitions, u never once came. I passed my Coffee Master challenged.. i clinchd top 10. i told u abt it and u never bothered.. Zad was the last in Starbucks Singapore and i got a number 6 u din even say anything.

I dun hate u ma.. i love you..
embrace me in ur arms ma..
i love you.. i do..
it hurts me to hurt u, but i do all these just to get ur attention..
see how pathetic i can be??
haiz.. if only u knew how much u mean to me mother..

Lots of things to update. From various outings to breaking fast outside and sahur-ing outside. Its just too many things.
Ferst things ferst.. Adi Johan is now a mr policeman.. lol!!!
Anyway, wehre should i start. Pics from Dorothy apparently isn't up yet..
She needs to undergo cesarean coz Photobucket refused to host those pics.

Soo letme break it down..
hmm..

Saturday
Fcuk hilarious!!! Buke puase at Kampong Glam with Scumbags Inc. And i think i found a new fabulous 4. gosh~ as much as i dun want to replace the original FAB4, i gues it somehow had been. I guess u three noe who u guys are.. same number.. 3guys 1 girl... haha!!! n yeah, the girl is attachd to one of the guys. SWEET~

Soo buke was great, Food was OK, service was stupid. The thing is we had no plans aftr tht. The rain made us all draggy and sleepy i think. Evry 5metres becme a pit stop. TATING SAK!!!
we wanna go Geylang, but DAMN THE RAIN.. end up we went to Orchard.. still plan-less.. i was like shit its my idea to go town.. shit shit.. like serious (malu tau ajak orang gi town in the end mcm mendak).. till..
WE RANDOMLY CHECK OUT EMAX.. and and.. woohooo~
book a room and went nuts.. serious fuck!!!
watching The Eye.. screaming out asses off.. Clubbing aftr tht.. hell crazy!!! Sahur-ing at 888 Plaza. i'm lost for words la!!!

Sunday
1 word. BORED

breaking fast over at nenek's is forever boring. I just dun click with my maternal cousins.

Monday
I dunno wad happen.. lol!!! did i lepak?? I think i did!!!
yes yes.. with my tappered pants.. lol!!! kecoh per!!!
lol!!!

Tuesday
EMAX-ed again!!!
kk.. i seriously cannot do much typing.. i jus love these guys! FCUK SIA!!!
hilariously fun to be out.. this time round was the Messenger. kool shit.
Pop Tarts made me high!

p/s; This goes to a bro of mine, Alepo "Jalil" Sanchez Castello. Thanks for all the nites over at ur place. Thanks for accompanying my nonsense all these while be it shopping, buka/sahur outside and all. Yes yes, i love the other 2 as well.. its just a special shout out to him since he's going NS tmrw. Gonna miss this matrep in denial for awhile. hahaha!!! i'll join u dere 2 days later k. see you at the cookhouse!!!

p/s/s; Scumbags Inc and FAB4, need i say more?
LOVED.


Mah god!!!
i'm soo like Panic! At the... or should i say, panic in my bedroom!!!
Coz waddt!!! the phone i want to gt its soo rare to find it now. Called a shop jus nw and dey said they no longer have it.. fcuk!!!
im going Lucky tmrw.. anyone wanna tag??
Niwae, going Mustafa tmrw nite.. Anyone wanna tag along?? gt 2 mre seats!!! haha...
no no, i aint driving, just cabbing down..
wakakakakaka!!!

niwae, i dun care what happened to u, u coz it to happen.. its all in the past. Gosh~ can i punch you.. fcuk sia.. i hate having these thots abt u! seriously i hate it!!!
siape makan chilli rase pedas

ok fcuk bye!!! i'm soo fat nw.. lol! bloated.. wanna smoke.. wanna watch anime..
hhahaha!!! 1 wk to NS..

to all my loved ones.. u noe i love u.. hohoho!!


I Just realised im losing weight again, and im no longer doing my exercises.. shit!!
okok!! i better gain back my fats.. 2wks to go.. 10kg to gain before NS!!!!

hohohoho!!! bileh punyer.. protein n carbo food, here i come!!!
DENGDENGSSS!!!!!

I MISS ALL OF YOU!!!

and i jus ate 2 chicken&cheese burgers.. yes two..
with chips..
a grande sized hot milo..
a glass of fruit punch.. yes yes.. fat fat to last me the whole day..
i'm supposed to gt oni 1 burger, but hehe.. daddy gave it to me his share.. lol!!!



Niwae, ive added my very own ebay section where i sell my used stuff. Be sure to check it out yeah..

For those shit heads who din noe anything abt my shopping, scram. For those good bangers, u guys noe i always have this shoppinglist evry mnth. HOWEVER!!!
Shopping list for September became such a headache.
NS life in 2wks..
n guess wad.. im ok with the list of items given to buy..
the prob now is..
I FUCKING DON'T HAVE A NON-CAMERA PHONE!
. alarm clock
. basic toiletries
. washing det
. extra undergarments
. swimming goggles
. nexpensive watch
. nail clipper
. slippers

and, haha!! i ve gt plans to get all these in red.. yes i noe its available.. except fr slippers n undergarments. haha.. a red underwear screams kinky.. n red slippers makes me attract too much attention.. soo ill stick to black for those..
the prob now is the fcukin fone!!!
I've like rummage throughout my home.. no wrking non-camera phone. well dere is ar.. but fcuk.. these non-cam phones are ugly. n i mean all of dem sia!!!!
soo i surfed the net.. for hours.. and found a non-cam phone.. in red n black housing summore!!!
instant love!!!
wads more...
its an mp3 player cum phone.
looks like an mp3 player..
yes no camera..
the oni drawback is the price..
$250 for a set. -_-"
yes, due to its expandable external memory of microSD of up to 2GB.
nonetheless.. ive made up my mind to gt it.

now haiz..
i gt too pull back alot of things frm my spetember shopping list.
i'm not buying the shoe.. -_____________-"
i soo want it, but lets bring it forward to next mth, niwae i wun b dancing in camp.. lol!!!!
the mp3 player is deleted frm the list.. haha!!!
coz the phone is n mp3 player...
soo im left with the specs.. i soo need to buy the specs i gt no choice.
sooo...
yes, specs im gtting a cheapo black plastic rimmed ones.. yes typical nsmen style..
soo i projected dat to be $40..
soo i brng a total of $290.
n its jus fr 2 things.. hw sad..
im left with $310 aftr all these...
with $310.. life is pathetic..

k dun mess with me.. NS SOO NEAR.. hahaha!


Fuhh!!
before i start my usual rantings..
HAPPY FASTING TO ALL MY MUSLIM FRIENDS..
enemies - but God wants me to forgive you all..
ex-es - got no choice kan..
aquaintances - just fast la
family - need i say more?

So ya bottomline, just fast la..
smokers try nt to smoke ok, im trying here as well..
Anyway.. heres it.

On Sat, had dis outing with my BBYY girls.. minus Ints coz shes wrking, but i gt to see her as well.. and den, went to dinner.. yeah!!! its soo nice.. soo fun.. n i realised im the only boy/guy/dude/man whatever la.. haha!!
den i noe at nite whadever it is i need to mit those CCB loved ones n scumbags.. den i recieved a kol frm Ril. hahaha!!! soo met up with him.. accompany his shopping nonsense.. n the word of the day, he calls Suntec Mall setan. hahahaahahaha!!!

Was still shopping at Topman, Fie joined.. haha!! kecoh lah korng.. had dinner at Fish&Co.. then off to Starbucks again to collect white chocolate drinks.. den smoke den went home.
Seriously, im lazy to type soo save the details..
yeah took train, took the green line.. hahaha!! yea.. fun..
met the loved ones n scumbags over at the usual..
den head over to BooBoo's place to gt his soccer stuff.. n den off to Popo's place.
and Popo!!! final warning!!! no poking of whatever things arnd my butt region unless u wanna gt kicked, punched or spiked. get it?!!! lol!

Sunday came.. soccer canceled, soo the boys including Baqir slept till late, seriously i dun remember wad time baqir came 'home'.. lol! kitorng mcm lost boys in boxers in a room sleeping ike logs. sooo arnd 9+.. we gt to gt out..
COZ MAS DAH BISING2 NAK JUMPE BOOBOO DIER!!!
tating sak!!!
soo i went to mit my pinay fren with injured Rauf. haiyo Rauf, thx God he looks better nw and able to walk slight distances.. and kan, i think it fun to push u arnd in ur wheelchair. mcm kool jugak ar..

soo sent Rauf home, den went to mit Licia over at AMK, den went bck to SK to gt chnged and all.. n cabbed to Orchard to slack. hahaha!!! ate at mackies.. den walkd down frm Pacific all the way to Fountain Of Wealth. And i dun feel fatigue. its soo cooling.. the fun, the talking.. the nonsense..
arnd 4.40 left town, bck to SK.. and i rushed home fr my pre-dawn meal!!! and i made it in time!!!

woooots~
ok soo dat explains why im lazy to go into details.. deres just soo many things to type..
ohh
i miss my BBYY galfwens oready!!!!!
i miss my crew, Titanicians n the scumbags..
and i jus realised i haven buy my stuffs fr enlistment..

POPO!!!
Mustafa Ctr next week ok??

i needa gt red alarm clock..
xtra red toothbrush..
red toiletries.. if i can find a shampoo n body foam in dat color..
red swimming goggles (entah eh)
red undies.. k dis one lets stick to black.. red macam kinky gtu..
sme watch... (dey say inexpensive ones.. wadde)
red nail clipper..
n simple balck slippers with red stuff smewhere ( i dun wanna risk my praias)

ohh yes, red cheapo fone if possible..

tarrah~~~

TAKING A BREAK


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