Malay Entry

Issues

I Need To Find Myself

I'm Being Myself

Mixed Feelings

Another Week Long Off

Wondering

Gila Ba Bangs

Sorry And Thank You(s)

Guilty

February 2006

March 2006

April 2006

May 2006

June 2006

July 2006

August 2006

September 2006

October 2006

November 2006

December 2006

January 2007

February 2007

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December 2007

January 2008

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November 2009

December 2009

January 2010

February 2010

credits

original: detonatedlove♥
pictures: owner's own

last paper tml.. HEADACHE NOW..
wanna swim aftr papers but class wanna wactch movie.. see hw la ehx..

wanna blog abt yesterdae's SUCKY PAPERS!!
but can't be bothered to, since its sucky.. well.. i gt out of the maths paper as soon as my mind gne blank.. n i NEVER REGRET it..

soo ya, fetchd Yiwen frm Interchnge to bring her to TP to play SQUASH!!! haha.. met arif oso.. den went to play wif sala, kith n kathy.. woo~~~ squash court gt soo hot soo i jus needed to strip.. since noone is dere.. i stripped.. revealing my owh soo gorgeous.. beautifully ripped, tanned n toned body NOT!.. i gt a freakingly fugly body.. its jus sme slim lean kiddo.. but well.. the cuteness as a package covers it all but still.. I WANT TO HVE THE MODEL-KINDA-BODY TO FLAUNT TO EVRYONE IN THE WORLD!!!

WELL.. todae s saturday.. dun wanna be stuck ath stupid 4rm flat whole day.. soo mit JJ to well.. SHOPPING!!!! NOT!!! .. window sopped only.. haha.. JJ is dis one guy hu owaes claim he's short, fat n fugly wen he is not!!! dun belive me.. chck out his pics in his blog..

den.. erm ya.. we celebrated our 1mth anniversary as frens by eating DONUTS!! nt cheapo donuts frm typical nehbourhood shops.. its Taka's donuts.. cinnamon donuts r soo nice!!! hw i wishd dey gt dose choc cream filled donuts.. the choco donut i bored nt really up to my expectation.. CINNAMON + CHOCOLATE = HAPPY ME...

JJ gt himself a choco donut too n anthr donut tht DUN look like a donut.. look mre likea squashd donut.. but its nice.. whole day toying arnd orchard.. went to art fren to play wif stuffs.. n apparently.. JJ's hand owaes touch sth funny..

den had our dinner at PS.. LJS.. haha.. wanna walk dere.. but JJ duwan, soo tke bus.. =).. haha.. we gt sits.. wooo~~~ den at PS.. mit deary Jing Yuan.. hu happens to gt paid jus by SITTING DWN.. den me n JJ walk arnd PS.. fer erm.. 1hr +?? haha... plat at spotlight, molecule.. ermm.. precious thots.. almost all the shops.. haha.. nth to do mahx..

den arnd 9.30 liddat, sent JJ off b4 i decided to wait fer JY to close her shop.. soo i can go hme wif her.. i LAZY go hme alone.. haha.. go hme wif JY n her mother.. soo funny.. den in train, we thot JY's mom sit beside a trans.. but actually, its a girl tht jus happens to hve mre male hormones.. u noe.. facial hair.. big arms and evrything (accprding to auntie Lim).. but to me n JY.. SHES a TRANS!!!

its ok la.. i accpet their community tho.. jus dun dsturb me..
boring dae ryt?? i noe.. nvr tke pics todae sadded.. except a pic wif Jasmine.. n we look damn cute in it.. shall upload it soon.. chck out dis space within 3 working days hor..


DIS SPACE:
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ferst things ferst!!!
JOAKIM IS STILL IN S.I??? WTF!!!!
he made Ima go home.. he made dear mathil da go home.. n TODAE!!! he made noodles go hme.. wad.. end it off wif a sadistic face??? wipe dat smirk off ur face boy.. coz apparently, u aint the cutest in S'pore n only me am allow to do smirks.. u jus sit dwn 1 crner n practise hard..

Singaporeans sersly oni search fer looks nt talent.. esp the teenage girls.. our female teenage counterparts r bz dating hunks while in SG, dey go ga-ga pver anyone dat looks or sounds EURASIAN.. jus bcoz of dat tinge of WESTERN blood in dis ppl.. dey go melting to the floor..

well.. sme of u might oready think i'm jealous... me jealous??? NOT!! dream on.. i wun be jealous of dis kinda ppl.. EURASIANS = EUR + ASIAN!!!

soo anyhoos.. hopefullyHady wun be out.. he's the oni 1 left fer me to root fer.. ppl like Joakim; get ur ass out of the stage, ppl like Paul Twohill.. improve or get ur hills else whre.. cant b bothered man..

niwae, was bz studying the whole day.. kinda of tired n shagged.. easily emoe-d too.. soo ya.. aftr sme personal investigations.. i realise, sme ppl dun reasure others like hw others treasure dem.. me? i luv my frens to the most tht i WOULD DIE FER DEM.. soo i'm like tired n oni person arnd is dear JJ.. at least sum1 to share my stupid problem with.. n he jus found out.. i gt my evil side.. muahaha.. hw evil is ayul??

dats fer u ppl to find out urself.. afterall.. ayul had been having problem wif hw he cntrls his anger wen he rages..
I SMELL, LICK AND TASTE BLOOD..
ITS IN MY BODY..
HURT ME N U WILL SEE..

haiz.. i noe.. sound very evil fer dis entry but HELL YEAH! i am.. raging fires in me now.. n my fist longs fer a gd punch.. muahahaha.. no offence to ppl abt this entry..

ITS A FREE COUNTRY.. I DESERVE MY RIGHTS TO STATE MY OPINIONS.. N MOREOVER, NO SENSITIVE ISSUES DELT HERE.. UNLESS U CALLED JOAKIM A SENSITIVE ISSUE..

OTHER DEN DAT.. AYUL WILL B BCK TO HIMSELF AFTR HIS EXMAS NXT MONDAY.. TLL DEN, THE FIRE RAGES ON..

well well well... nth much again.. studied again.. LOL wad else ryt.. hmm..
went to Kembangan CC again.. me, arep.. mummy n daddy.. studied like mad.. well apparently oni daddy n arep dat study the hardest.. me n mummy jus chill.. ok to start it all SKL PINK ciggies.. woohoo~~~ i soo mish smoking pink ciggies.. no skool = less smoking time.. at home?? i'm banned frm smoking at hme jus to let u ppl noe..
real-mom says "NO SMOKING IN THE HOUSE!" soo dat explains evrything..

i soo wanna go Johor again, jus u noe.. to chill and all.. anyone keen?? well.. jus writing dis blog entry to pass tyme.. i really nd to be studying actually.. exams on fridae.. Computer Systems n Computing Mathemathics.. HW I HATE NUMBERS..

niwae.. was listenin to lil sis MP3.. (she hardly updates her song).. n was listening wen i suddenly hear to a familiar tune.. My Immortal by Evanescence.. sme past memories bck den.. tht song caught me off guard, n i jus listen n memories flash.. hmm.. HAhaha! heck wif the past.. now is the present n future..

i gt to luv wad i am in now.. me, myself n I.. nt fergetting the gift of god to have a family, a whole mountain of frens.. n a sub-family.. a.k.a the lepakers..

niwae.. can't conceal myself dat much.. i'm prepared... i guess.. =X

WOOHOOO~
was out at Kembangan CC to mug, gosh.. i'm gettin in the MOOD.. well.. went dere.. wif of coz dear-dear... NOT.. i repeat that NOT.. well.. supposedly gt mre to join us todae, but all kinda bckfired.. soo left wif me n arep.. haiz.. well, b4 our mugging excercise begin.. well abit of a chow time.. i gt myself some fries.. n i really mean sme fries.. $2 fer a small fugly plate.. n arep was sme chi fried rice.. issit $2+ ya.. n again served on a fugly pl8.. wads soo nice abt dis cafe is its abience.. at ferst its noisy due to sme desperate nyonyas.. soo well.. we studied hard aftr dat.. nyonyas went hme n couple bhind arep fought.. verbally.. soo we heck la.. all we noe is study our friggin maths.. me wif my CMATHS 2 and arep wif sme EMATHS.. gundus.. well, den we head out fer awhile to smoke..

wad else ryt.. hmm.. n i think arep sort off made a NEW fren dere.. lol.. fer dis. u ask him ur self.. duwan to tarnish my blog.. lol..

ended our mugging at 6pm sharp.. b4 we made our way fer dinner.. haiz.. along the way, ya.. our common hobby, bitching abt passer-bys.. hw Kembangan estate dwellers are such a bore. dey look soo dead la.. walk n walk.. cross roads.. met rep's uncle or relative or sth.. doesnt interest me so odun bother toking abt it n finally.. THE RESTAURANT...

i had a plate of crispy noodles.. fren dere had a plate of spicy thai fried rice.. hmm.. well ya!!! all the squids i pass to him.. fish cutlets on the floor for miao miao to eat.. apparently.. miao miao dun eat fish cake as proven by arep. he threw a piece of fishcake on the floor, miao miao sniff it.. den mve away... i threw fish cutlets.. miao miao eat... me n arif den sort of wondering whether miao miao eat sotong.. arep sae no, i jus blur soo i threw 1 sotong dwn.. miao miao eat.. YEAO!!!! soo ya, proven.. miao miao eat NATURAL things.. NOT FISH CAKES..

food was gudd, make our tummy bloated.. hmm price very reasonable.. service is good.. cleanliness ok.. 1 problem!!! sme 1 or 2 fliew are bugging us wen we r eating soo NOT CONVINIENT!!! n hmm.. nxt tym, pls cut the tiger prawns fer me.. quite abi of a prob fer ppl hu tke double/triple the time jus to peel a prawn.. yeao!!!

yeao!!! quite a grt dae tho only to of us.. we want our MUMMY!!!! tml going out study again, anybody wan join us??? gimme a holla.. *muackiex*

n a simple line of pics.. yeaO!!!



gosh!!! ppl still do read my blog??? yeao!!!..
sorry me fellow dear, sexy, slutty, bitchy, cute, pretty, kawaii readers.. had been bz wif skool.. semester exams r cming WAY faster den expected.. n i'm caught off guard. i guess my chakra is low.. woohoo~ NARUTO?? since wen i watch Naruto.. niwae.. i still do update my blog.. ok here goes..

apparently, dis is a STUDY WEEK, soo lil me; cant afford to study at hme.. calling up ppl hu said wan study together.. n in the end, end up at Wani's place!!! woo hoo!!! the garden of eden,.. i din noe her hse was soo garden-y... lol!!! serys man.. gt pics of her hse but lazy upload nw.. will upload ltr.. heres a brief description of her hse..
1. she celebrates all festivals coz i see santa, lanterns n such..
2. its a jamming studio as i see drums, guitars..
3. its a garden (OBVIOUSLY DUH)
4. its pink.. too much of it mke me sick tho.. lol!!!

niwae!!! kudos!!! its a unique place!!!
went to spend the ferst 1 or 2 hour jamming/video/toking cock/smoking... wif arep, wani of coz, niki n wawan.. haha.. soo cool.. den aftr dat hard core study!!! i finishd my Topic 2 in A DAY!!!! .. wun u us believe dat.. haha.. eat.. n eat.. NIKI ea alot!!! lol.. =X.. paisehx! all of us eat alot.. hungry man!!! n ya.. we spend our time really studying.. no JOKE!!!.. sorry to C143G coz i nvrgo Wild Wild Wet.. studying is mre important den me.. nwae, its planned way earlier..

soo ya, sub story is.. hw i fetch arep frm interchnge n hw we want buy ciggies..
gosh.. we need help!!! we're barely 18!!! haha.. soo get sme ITE kidos to help us.. n stupid arep giv me $50.. woo~ in our mind was wad if the ITE kids took the $ n run away.. but i'm glad dey din!!! ITE ppl r kind OK!!! well, gve dem 2 sticks as APPRECIATION.. woo hoo~..

well dats dat.. den erm.. arnd 7.45.. need to leave.. wani nd go sme religious class.. soo we left n parted our ways.. den i cant go hme yet.. its still too early fer me.. soo i went twn to mit idil n gang....

wen i reach dere.. sme of dem oready parting.. gosh! i dunno sme of their names.. well dis is of whom i noe de name.. erm.. idil (of coz), aaron, bernice, jen n shafik, kero.. well i think dats all i noe.. haha.. kewl shiet.. hangd arnd cine to wait fer their fren to finish work.. hmm.. arnd 10+ head hme.. ahaha.. most of us taking NEL.. me, dil, jen n 1 othr girl.. haha.. cool!!! at least sth fer me to do.. basically jus smoke n smoke.. wadu expect me do? kiss the floor??? LOL.. den i did call deary hunny bunny Jing Yuan.. wanna see hw shes doing.. omg!!! frm th tone of her voice.. can hear she wans to tell me alot of things.. i soo mis u babe.. well.. one day me n arep will go dwn Hula & Co PS.. i promise.. n u noe ayul nvr break his promise!! ryt? haha..

side track again.. otw to town.. i saw a wallet in train.. i gt 2 thots.. tke it and claim it as mine.. or giv it to th staion staff.. but hmm.. even if my intentions r good, wen ppl see me tke it.. dey will think i will tke the $.. soo heck wif it.. jus a test from GOD i think.. n i jus passed it.. fail = if i tke the wallet.. hi-pass = of i return it to the staion staff.. soo i did none.. soo i'm just me!!! woohoo~

actually, in my mind.. wad if its a bomb??? lol!!!

ok ppl.. ayul is bored.. tired.. ouh ya.. i found my new hobby.. creating custom emoticons.. have a total of 9 now.. wanna see dem??? tok to me in msn.. duwan upload here, coz i scare ppl tke it.. it took me effort to do it ok.. chaox.. *muacks*

UNDECIDED INTENTIONS..
well, it speaks of many things i'm experiencing now.. well.. basically, n most importantly.. skool life.. followed by my personal life.. well.. life's been a bitch.. much much bitchier den me..

oh wells.. OH WELLS...
was thinking abt my close-to-be relationship.. well, recently, ppl had been asking abt me n her.. ya.. i noe.. if all things go as wanted n needed by me.. well.. i might hav a dear baby to tke cre of.. but deary baby, well. she went off wif anthr guy.. well deary baby, i had plans of being together, but things dun wrk out.. i soo miss u alot.. n well, wenever u appear online in msn; it brings a smile to me.. (ear to ear).. our conversations tasted like fluffy, sweet marshmallow clouds (dipped in warm chocolate of course).. haiz.. well. wad can i do..

dis mth, i can see frm the very beginning... is a month dedicated to the "memory lane".. apparently, flash bcks had been going thru n round.. hay-wiredly.. gosh!!! met those hu once graced my heart.. apple of my eye.. n dere dey are.. wif sum1 dey r currently sharing their moments wif.. wad do i hve?? well.. i hve my frens.. frens dat treasure me like kinder bueno.. but u noe.. sumtyms.. i jus need the special sum1.. WHERE IS THE SPECIAL SUM1?

haiz.. looking bck, as in turning my head bck.. i can see the pic of my ferst true love on the wall.. i stuck it up since 2004? ya.. i lookd damn fugly in the pic.. but well.. overall.. its a nice pic, coz dats the ONLY pic of JUST me n her..

soo wads my intentions fer love?? TO FIND? OR TO WAIT???
am i changing my direction towards love? m i beginning to not even bother abt it?? DAT IS SOO NOT AYUL... wad happen to ayul the cupid??? strong believer in L.O.V.E???

guess.. things change.. i'm waiting.. fer the day.. i strongly believe in love again.. will our path cross each other? hope it will... n will u accept me fer hu i am wen u noe mre abt me? i can oni hope fer the best.. i'm a complicated guy, wishing the one to save me frm these complications..

p.s: dis is NO sadistic/self-pity entry.. i jus feel like toking abt love. well, mayb.. my love stories are jus sadistic.. i still gt my lovable frens arnd me n my family.. n to dem i am jus 1 person, but to me, they are my universe.. *muacks*

gosh!!! i am feeling like wad i am before.. the constant fear of examination. haaaaaa!!!! all those stupid papers!!! freak la!!! making tears dripping dwn my eyes.. i jus can't do it anymore.. i hate what i am studying now. ok!!! understand? deres jus too much for me to take dis few daes.. soo well.. u want help me, sure.. pls do.. other den dat, if wan mke my life miserable.. GET LOST!

i'm making decisions in life now..
1. to be wad i am, or a new me..
2. to find the one or to wait fer the one..
3. to stay in my current course or change out of it

well.. soo ya, mommy detected dat i am not myself lately.. GOSH!!! wads happening 2 me?
having constant headaches, migrains.. gosh!!! i soo ned to release myself frm all dese craps!



A GENERAL WRITE UP
haven been blogging much dis wk.. kinda bz wif skul stuff, frens.. gosh i dunno y living life to the fullest is soo dificult. haiz.. soo suddenly, have been thinking abt my direction in life. life has been complicated fer me recently.. having constant headaches and migrains. sme of my frens all bz wif relationships.. sme are happy wif it.. some heck cre wif it.. while sme are jus deprived and all. me? ME??? REALTIONSHIPS???

deres no such thng as relationship fer me.. still waiting fer the right person soo to say.. i need to change my ways.. i want to be wad i am before.. GOSH.. i guess sme ppl understand wad i mean here.. am i a casanova??? I AM NOT.. i've waited, waiting n had been waiting fer the love to come.. but .. WHERE IS THE LOVE???

haiz.. was walking dwn Tampines Interchange wif Bob yest, wen well.. i clashd wif my first true love.. I JUS FROZE.. like some dumb idiot, i lifted my arms, waved at her.. and smile.. not even a word from my mouth.. gosh!!! AYUL!!! u r stupid very stupid.. den meet the rest b4 heading to esplanade to watch firewrks.. but i dunno y.. i am not contented.. I HAD NOT BEEN CONTENTED DIS WHOLE WEEKK... NEVER!!!! MAKE ME CONTENTED PPL.. CHOCOLATES... PINK STUFF, DEY JUS DUN SEEM TO WORK.. i am in need of sumthing, but i jus dunno wad.. is my body telling me sth? is my dreams giving me premonitions? or issit? am i dying??? I HOPE NOT.. i am nt done wif life on earth, there is jus alot fer me to do.. yet soo little time.. i need to feel the empty void in me..

is it true dat i am lacking of the special sum1? or is the person dere? n i jus din notice? am i being too complicated? do i need to start a new?? as in re-birth? i am jus too lost n complicated.. smeone pls help me.. help me fill the emptiness in me..

i think.. all i can think of is dat, i am jus workd up dis whole mth n b4, making undecided decisions.. makin life fer me mre miserable.. i should just be wad i am before.. a guy, wif a direction in life.. based on decisive intentions.. but i maybe wrong.. do i still long fer "her" to cme to turn at me, n giv me the one last look? n chnge it all.. ?? i dunno

Sunday, August 06, 2006

hmm.. design n design.. 9:18 PM

OK CRAP.. FIRST THINGS FIRST..
HAIZ... sumone started to build-up rumour i steal his girlfriend!!! goodness gracious me! y would i? i mean, those ppl dat noe me will noe tht i'm the type dat will not steal other's girlfren!!! even if i like the girl, i'll patiently wait fer their break-up (if dere is la..).. gosh!!!

k.. enuf abt it.. aniwae.. was slping till noon till i finally decide to wke myself up.. went over to the master room n see my jeans are sewn (or soo i thot)..so i'm suppose to mit sala n fizah dey all.. soo y not try the jeans.. (it took me guts to step out of the house wif it ok!!!).. mummy thot its a stupid pair of jeans.. but i think its a superb creation!!! woohooo!!!

soo was taking the bus.. n dere.. wen suddenly, i realise, loose threads are coming out.. n lucky i brought along pins, soo ya.. pinned dem up.. (dis part to be continued).. so i was at Compass Point fer awhile.. haha.. soo ya.. since dey all left (dey went do project) i oso left la.. haha.. reahcd hme.. ask dad y the threads are coming out, he said dis..
"u are nt suppose to wear it.. its not sewn properly!!! dose loose threads r just markings!.."
cheyy!!! no wonder it dropped!!..

soo here i am, jus finishd editing my frenster skin.. kept doing it for people.. so its time to do sth fer myself.. n of coz its better!!! dun be jealous ppl!!. haha.. its nuting BIG in fact jus a simple layout..

heres the pics of me in my new jeans n my new frenster layout..

Friday, August 04, 2006

life resumes 11:53 PM

well.. jus to tell u all fellow concern readers.. yap.. AYUL IS BACK!!! wadever my problem i hav wif any1.. well lets jus say, nt problems.. but challenges in life.. well i dun think dere is any now.. compromise is the key.. i'm soo luving it.. hmm.. soo lets tok abt wad i did todae..

oh ya!!! i gt my FAVORITE VisLit class todae.. its the oni subject tht saved me frm INFORMATION TECHNOLOGY SCHOOL.. coz its a DESIGN SUBJECT!!! haha.. hmm.. well kinda sad dat its gonna be the last piece b4 semester ends.. n i gonna make a big thing out of dis final drwing. well.. basically, its a bt extracting a verse frm a song n draw it out.. paint color.. wadever.. n since soo far i've been getting gd grades fer dis sub, dis last wan.. i wanna mke sure its the best work ever! wohoo...

soo ya.. i did my sketches oready.. kinda kool la.. haha.. i mean i oready gt an idea frm the start but the prob is the song my grp chose, i dun really like it.. but ya .. compromise soo i did it oso.. n ha v a sketch, but if its a song dat is close to my heart, mayb perhaps gt mre feel to it. n more over.. dammit! i cant expect evryone to listen to my genre of music ryt??? not evryone is a clubber/dancer/RnB/HipHop/Reggaeton music lover.. haha.. and apparently in my class, nt many ppl share the same love for dis genres.. haha..

soo sketchd done.. n Mr Wong said it looks like James Munch "Scream" painting.. n i think it does abit.. jus dat my work is MINE!!!

den aftr dat, i cant gt to mit bestie n Ket.. arif, ket!!! u ppl abandon me!!! evry fridae abandon me!!! GRRRRR!!!.. soo met up wif my ptk darlingz.. woohoo!! ladies u rule! haha.. den went off to to send Ayu off and to mit my scary eye fren, JJ. pls lor.. his eyes is 2 diff lense color. its cool and nice.. but scary.. hahaha.. have a chat n drink b i made my way to pondok to smoke the last stick of Dj Mix strwberry.. i gt fetish fer pink items.. lol!!! and it is a RED ciggie.. dunnoe y todae i like red ciggie.. mayb falling in love wif it... arif!!! we can buy red ciggie oready..

soo ya.. at the pondok smoke.. cht chat awhile b4 heading home.. hahaha.. n all the way frm pondok to home.. i am not lonely coz technologically JJ's been msging me.. haha.. but physically, i am accompanied by my dearest.. my dearest HP.. yesterdae, stupid handfone keep making me pissed off.. 1 moment gt sound, the next.. dead.. i think it is fated to die soon. 1yr old liao.. happy b'dae HANDFONE...

serysly, i bought it sumwhre arnd dis tyme in 2005

haha.. soo ya.. heres my bloggie entry fer todae.. luv me ok!!! woohooo!!!!! i want a red ciggie now.. haha.. n f.y.i.. i gt pimples back!!! i soo need all my facial things now.. hahaha...

***EDITED***
DIS IS A TRUE NITE WALK IN DESIGN SKOOL LV6 & 5..

THINGS HAD HAPPEND.. WATCH IT
A WORD OF CAUTION:
dis no joke. but nt fer the faint hearted.. we viewed it ferst.. n afte viewing it, well.. lets jus say, IT sort of noe u viewing it.. n u can feel it arnd u.. Serysly.. NOT FER THE FAINT HEARTED..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y_oZzesGXao

Thursday, August 03, 2006

the light, the future 11:08 PM

jus wanna put evrything bhind. its nt that i dun wan to cre. it seems futile fer me to do so, if wad my thots r nt taken into heart. hazi, guess evryone noes hu i am hving a feud wif now. yea.. its him.. well.. i dun wanna make a big hoo haa.. well, we're still frens, i think.. jus dat, nd timefer me to adjust bck. so ya, mayb i'll try to chnge (jus to compromise) but dun expect too much frm me. afterall i am ayul, n ayul controls his own god damn life.

soo.. hmm.. skool todae? okok la.. i slpet in class.. i dunno y.. was jus damn tired.. haiz.. which aftr dat half of my class went to tanjong pagar to dye dier hair.. I OSO WAN DYE MY HAIR LE!!!!.. haiz.. haha.. so hang arnd wif the pondok gang. tho ya, i jus sit dere.. be me.. wad am i suppose to do ryte.. n yea, observing as usual. ppl hu noe me will noe wad i mean. it was soo kecoh la. was shockd to see 2 of my lose frens dere b4 me.. hahaha.. arif.. arif.. ket.. ket.. *muacks* the both of u. haix.. den had soo much fun.. basically to summarise things up. i kinda put the probs bhind... n ya.. reachd hme arnd 9.30pm.. nuting much..

p.s: dun ask me anymre thing abt the conflict, if can i dun even wan it to happen.. i am soo not enjoying it.. n to u dil, i am nt duwan tok to u.. i just nd tyme.. *peace*

p.s.s: an owh!!! she is dere wen i need her.. lub u lub u!!!

Wednesday, August 02, 2006

shit 11:45 PM

having in bad shit recently... sme misunderstandings here n dere.. n i nvr thot i would ever gt involve in dis kinda shit. WAD? did i do wrong to deserve dis? y the pointing of fingers? y the judging of 'covers'? am i a dart board? yeah.. i noe my face having pimples again; so wad? tring to help me burst dem wif verbal darts?

Uu noe hu u r.. i serysly dunno abt dis mess n i'm not gonna think abt me. enuff shit is given to me by u. but i jus keep quiet coz i dunwan to make things wrse. i'm jus leaving it to the almighty. u may find me wadver u think of me. btmline is i serysly dun cre anymore. u wanna be judgemental abt me? go ahead.. its just i am sad dat dis had to come.

u made me miserable.. u sower me wif shit, n a nvr ending dose of it as well.. u spoil moments of happiness wen i'm wif my frens wif ur shitty accusations.. n wad u expect me to be? HARD n COLD like stone? HELL YEAH! i'm hurt.. well hope u noe wad u r doing next.. coz wadever ur next move is, may lead to ur downfall..

n abt me to u, i hold no grudges, i have no fear.. coz i am lost abt dis situation. u can try to bring me down all u want.. in fact try harder.. it isnt wrking, in fact u're helping me bcming a stronger person in life to face challenges. and to that i kow tow to u. hope u like being like a king or sth.

u hurt me once, u hurt me twice.. u gave me shit.. u made me look like a freak.. but God saes, retribution will cme. n i am not hoping u to get retribution, i jus an u to realise dat u're hurting a fren, dat dun even wish to quarrel wif u.

the premonition 6:23 AM

haiz.. at first i THOT OF pulling back dis entry. but den, aftr wad happen to my blahdy life yest nite. i guess its time to let the world noe abt me. like as in FINALLY noe AYUL as HIMSELF u think he's a pushover? jus hope u nvr end up in the his path wen he's fucking angry at u, u will regret it soo well, dat u wish u were'n born..

soo heres the entry i typed in schl using my hp..

I CAN TRUST NOONE ELSE EXCEPT FER MYSELF.. LIFE'S A BITCH!! DUN U THINK SO? haiz, writing dis crappy entry coz i'm pissd. cant believe i am but ya. ppl owaes abuse my trust. i noe i may look happy n all.. but do anyone understand me? i feel like crap l8ly.. studies? u think i bother. my life? ppl use me. wad am i? a push over? n f.y.i, i'm writing dis entry using my hp.. it totally jus suck. i hate evrything life IS unfair. i'm waitin fer sum1 to chnge all dis.. but i think i'm jus dreaming.. i'm wrthless.. luv me.. hate me.. i dun cre.. wanna bitch abt me oso i dun cre. i fall too many times b4. its tym 4 others to fall. but i dun hv e heart to do so. i'm lost..

Sincere words of ppl hu noes me (extracted frm MY friendster)

1.
Self-obsessed. Pink-obsessed. NUM ringer shirts-obsessed. Nadiyah-obsessed. OOPSS. Did i say that? So sorry. It slipped off my fingers. Tee-hee. I'm just trying to fulfil the promise of writing a testie for Ayul, while finishing all the characters given, with no paragraphing. The moron and all you poor sheeps out there would have a lilo trouble reading this, but here goes. Ayul. Ayul. Ayul. Never have i written you a proper testie, so here's one. How we become friends was very unpredictably unexpected, isn't it? And technically, we were suppose to be rivals...lols...but i wouldn't wanna be a rival to such a fun guy now, would i? =) Great personality, crappily cute at times, self-proclaimed depressionist, neva wil u regret knowing. Though as he said it himself, deep inside problems just circulate, i'm sure for a guy with sharp mind, he'll brave through it all. Won't you yul? ^_^ I left a few more words to end this so last words from me...AYUL FOR PRESIDENT. Thank you and gdnite.

2.
HAHA. wana gain weight but gain weight on the wrong part. LMAO. i suggest u just let it gain naturally would be better. and i stil think u cant meet your target by the end of june :x As u know, when u gain weight, its fats. and u stil ve to train al the fats into muscle u see. so probably it wil take about half a year in order to meet your perfect model figure i reckon? or even longer than that. BUT as long as u ve determination and persevere on i think it should be chicken feet to u la uhh. actually frankly speaking now i see u already not bad already what. dont understand why u stil not satisfied. can u like learn to be easily contented and loveee your own body. can u? oh, i guess u must be lacked of lovees now cos shes not in sg? heh. and i just cant stop laughin my ass off when u told me whats in your bag everyday when u go sch la. HAHA. terrible. can u be a good boy and pay attention in ur lesson and not concentratin al on ur appearance? so freakin funny la al ur nonsense stories. ayul eh ayul u this piece of shit! HAHAHA. stay bubbly and cute forever cos who knows it can attract ur 'fav' type of people? heh. cheerio

3.
AYUL!! haha.. this guy crazy over his band! haha.. not only band, he is crazy over his hair and everything abt him! he love himself so much till he is willing to spend time taking pics of himself everyday!! haha.. but whatever he does, i still like him! haha.. as a friend. he's a humorous,smart and cute guy! haha.. with ayul in class, ur lessons are definitely not bored. i simply enjoy his company! =) anyway, all the best ayul! and take care! rmb to lend me ur arm! haha..

4.
anak mak!!hehexx..his a cool guy lol! = )someone i knew late last year..he's ma X "best bro" * wink *he's cool ! = )he's soo de manje manje type = )he's the guy tt posses a gud phone..i like ur hp = )k la yul..mummy gotto go now..take care aite..see u in skol..im looking forward fer the chalet aite...loves.fizah

5.
hey surprise surprise...!azrul here.i dont noe him tht well.but i cn tell he's a rili jovial fun loving person n it'd b gr8 hanging with him.a realli gd conversationalist hu nvr fails 2 make me erm...nt bored.hahaha.at first sight(photos of courz),u rili dont luk lyk a bandmember.hahaha.bt oh well..nt lyk i luk lyk 1 either ryt.n btw,im sorry.u noe 4 wad.besides...u haf a Dream girl now! hehe.all the best in lyf.c ya durin july comp yea? BANDITS ROCK! till then.take care.

6.
.......DUh bOi Is CraZyy....Woi!!!!!AyUl WatS Up ???YeAh niE bdk nie been my fren since the day or month ive been joining wiT tHe Skoola band wit him..He plays pOot2 n i plAy chiAng2...bUt den,We R not so RApat bUt sinCe last yr...1 TraGedY HappEns...we get to be rApat!!!! HahaSoOo by rite i got to say ayul iS a GeeK..haha..he's very fun to be wiT coz u will b giLerz n SEwelZ wit all his nOnsenses,,,,,,lastly ayul...Kau nk mAsOk anUgeRah???kau mimpi per??IndIAn IdOl Kau Tk nk?HahA HUhU...~~~~~LikE dUH??~~~~.........Dot.........ps:Aku pon Nk mAsok AnuGerAh!!!!Nk apply blang aku tau!

7.
ayul!hello.hehehe. nice to know ya. he is sharon's classmate. a very friendly guy. who can be really funny at times. so you wont get bored talking to him. hmmm, he can also be a good friend who will always be there when you need help. i like all your pictures. you just look photogenic in every photo.grins.****remember to change your contact!!! -grins-take care and God bless.cya in campus. (:

ayul can only trust himself..

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