Malay Entry

Issues

I Need To Find Myself

I'm Being Myself

Mixed Feelings

Another Week Long Off

Wondering

Gila Ba Bangs

Sorry And Thank You(s)

Guilty

February 2006

March 2006

April 2006

May 2006

June 2006

July 2006

August 2006

September 2006

October 2006

November 2006

December 2006

January 2007

February 2007

March 2007

April 2007

May 2007

June 2007

July 2007

August 2007

September 2007

October 2007

November 2007

December 2007

January 2008

February 2008

March 2008

April 2008

May 2008

June 2008

July 2008

August 2008

September 2008

November 2008

December 2008

January 2009

February 2009

March 2009

April 2009

May 2009

June 2009

July 2009

August 2009

September 2009

October 2009

November 2009

December 2009

January 2010

February 2010

credits

original: detonatedlove♥
pictures: owner's own

oik! damn sia.. was having bad luck recently.. i lost my ez link card.. yeah LOST.. the most valuable thing on earth.. lemme tell u why..
1. It can store quite a sum n weighs less den 5g
2. It can help u buy stuff wen u hav no change.. eg. 7-eleven & Mc D
3. It has attractive design, foreigners fisrt tot of it as a Credit Card
4. It is the key to places arnd S'pore..

damn.. now no ez-link like grounded liddat.. menyesal.. menyesal..
hw am i suppose to venture out of my pathetic condo-look-alike estate wen i dun hav dis crad.. the bike? long time no kayuh.. damn.. shit sia.. ask my dad to buy me a new wan.. n he was like.. gt u 1 soon.. soon? i need it urgently.. hahaha.. guess i dun really lost it, but misplaced it.. typical me.. keep losing my stuffs.. dis is the first adult-ezlink dat i lost.. yeay! 2003-2006.. 3yrs den lost anthr ez-link. hahaha.. kool..

n yeay.. i've gt a complete entertainment system now.. my super-speedy-but-sumtyms-laggy-comp.. a fast-but-laggy-net connection n yeah! my new all-in-one machine.. hahaha.. kool.. i luv scanning myself.. hahaha.. yeah..

ez-link.. WHERE ARE YOU! COME TO PAPA!

i'm in love, but i jus dun hav e courage yet to tell her.. hw.. wad if ppl cut in.. wad if she dun like me.. wad if i wld nteven see/tok to her anymore.. wad if i wun live anthr dae to noe her better.. time is moving fast.. but we jus can't seem to contact wif each othr again.. y? r we fated or nt.. hmm.. well.. no matter wad, i will care for her till the day she say, "sorry.. blah blah blah..".. i dunno la.. dun wanna giv up yet.. still cares for her.. lets tok abt wad i did todae..

i went to HP to shop for electrical stuff wif parents.. basically, a new printer, a new dvd player n my mama's airpot.. hmm.. spent like $300+.. den aftr dat, went hme n fix all dis stuff.. yeah.. ALL.. alone.. i'm jus alone la.. well.. dats y i like to cre for ppl.. keeps my mind on sth.. if nt i'll jus tink im alone.. hahaha.. lonelyphobia.. happens to ppl hu had been suddenly deprived from social gatherings.. hmm..

WTF.. CAN'T STAND IT ANYMORE! im gonna tell her soon.. very soon.. i jus wanna be a good special person to her.. mayb i suck in the past.. a bastard.. wadeve u girls called me.. but sme of it ar, u girls hu deserved it.. but nw, i jus feel like chnging for the better.. luving u k girl.. no matter wad u think, say or do.. *muackz*

4yrs had passed.. history is history.. erm.. stefanie.. aka "fake" girlfren.. erm.. i oni like 1 wonderful girl. no one else.. defnitely nt u or siew ling haha.. wtf wif u keep saying tt i like siew ling.. haha.. u may noe her la.. aha.. dunno y u 2 can bcme frens.. haha.. so ya.. i ain't a playboy bunny.. aha.. i jus like being frenly.. nt flirty.. gt diff.. if u see me like being flirty.. chances are, i'm nt really attached to tt person.. if i'm keeping quiet, den.. dats anthr story.. luv is blind.. btw todae is band dae.. ahahaa.. wtf.. dat idiot came todae wif bigger idiot.. but hu cres.. xtra oni.. aha.. like dun 'she' get it? wel.. no comments.. niwae, go band rm wif slippers.. slack siak.. hahah.. den we go xpedition..

den left HP at 10pm+++.. very late sia.. wtf.. busy wif stuff la.. i'm hard wrking ok.. very serys bout stuffs.. band, studies n of coz her.. at dat Mc Donald's wif arep, the 'man & JY.. aha.. crap sia.. wads wif Faizah n testicles? hahahahaha! luff like siao sia.. aha.. she herself sae gt sth dwn dere.. hahahahaha! wtf.. or is dat suppose to be e snare? hahaha... crap sia.. den discuss-discuss.. den go hme wif ah yuan.. hu else ryt.. as usual, ppl look at us like a stupid couple.. 1st of all, ppl do stare at "inter-racial" couples.. haha.. but im nt attached to ah yuan.. haha.. jus help her carry her stuff.. den we took the bus n we ZzzzZZzZZzZZ.. tired la.. n my lenses getting super dry.. haha.. pain..

reach the bus stop, she wait for my bus.. den ok.. i alone liao.. reach hme.. fucking hell take out my lenses.. coz my eyes starting to itch.. haha.. den no more pan-asian look oready.. ahahaha.. damn.. den bathe, den eat.. keep getting hungry sak.. padahal.. padahal..

okok.. for nw until here la.. missing her owaes.. n missing u guys too.. duncha ppl miss me? woots!

Pan asian.. pan asian.. wad do u define pan asian as? tall.. fair.. small eyes... baby-licious face.. if dats wad u tink a pan asian is.. den its me!!! weee.. haha.. no lah, i'm jus a crappy indonesian by blood, malay by name and finally, pan asian by heart.. ahaha.. wtf.. damn.. biler lah nak anugerah 2007.. i jus can't wait to sing "Mengapa Harus Cinta" by Vince.. it is also the OST for "Sembilu 2005".. gosh.. lemme giv u e lyrics for dis wonderful song..

Mengapa harus cinta
perlu ada yang berpisah ouwohh
tak ku, mungkin mengerti

Mengapa harus kasih
pastikan jua berakhir oh sayang
tak sanggup ku menanggung pilu ini ..

haha.. cool kan.. man.. superbly crazy bout her now.. damn.. she still haven realise or issit she playing dumb.. ler.. if we're really fated, den we r.. i find u the most amusing thing on earth.. beauty of a angel, heart of marshmallow.. soo soft n yummy.. damn.. wads wif me n marshmallows n chocolates.. swt stuff is bad... susu is goood.. damn.. yesterdae dun hav coc milk in BOWEN.. lousy sia.. den nd drink strawberry milk.. where gt nice.. pink color summore.. soo er xin.. macam kedi sak.. damn..

n fuck.. hell yeah i cut my hair to extreme shrt length.. well.. basically, me lazy bout keeping dat long hair.. soo hot.. den nw is hot season.. where can tahan.. haha.. y nt Mohawk? soo outta trend.. jus wanna be simple me.. nxt stop.. getting my hair dyed.. but need go bleach certain parts first.. haha.. wanna see the new shrt hair me.. look no further.. look below...



to *her* if u reading dis.. n u tink/suspect dat u r my dreamgerl, shw me a sign dat u knew oready.. luving u mre den wateve chocs or mallows.. u're de best.. u mayb an average Jane, but hu cres... im oso n average Joe.. no pangkat pangkat.. aha.. luving u k.. evry moment without u is like moments of emptiness.. muacks!! so *Flavalicious*.. haha.. u r ...

since long i never post sth.. so guess its time.. well lately, quite a few tags.. cool.. man.. i'm in luv mood again.. very strong.. like the wan i had 4yrs ago.. super strong.. den long time nv tok to her summore.. miss like crazy.. puki-wak.. emosak!!.. niwae u guys dunno her.. i think she alone feels it.. but we're nt attached, jus frens for the moment.. but mayb.. its jus an affection.. mayb its jus i adore her.. niwae.. its better den adoring adores.. haha.. i serysly dun mind if she tinks i'm a crappy bastard but.. mayb she tinks i'm mr ryt? hmm.. luving her.. wee! nv had life been soo wonderful.. n to AREP! i wun giv u her number even if i noe.. aha.. dream on.. go find other gerls..

wad other wrds to say den saying dis few wrds abt her..
shes tall.. crappy.. young.. cute.. luvly.. appreaciative.. open.. well.. i jus heart her soooo much.. soory ladies, i'm single but unavailable ONCE more.. haha.. sorry la.. but still can kenal2 wif me.. sure no prob.. but jgn menggatal melebihi hukum syariah sua.. haha.. lately, sme gerls r bitching arnd me.. sorry eh.. i not typical guys hu jus demands for sex n luv gatal girls.. i gt my own taste n preference.. strictly no BIATCHES!.. wonder am i doing the ryt ting in luving her.. hmm.. hu noes.. onli 1mth pass.. soon la..

1 CLUE, shes 1 of my friendster friends.. aha.. btwn e first page n last page.. well.. carri-carri.. find till u find her.. giv me the correct answer n u will win $1000 000 worth of Voucher Gundu.. aha.. gundu snds soo nice.. thx ee-duh.. for re-introducing me dis legendary word.. aha..

yul luvs u ppl.. cu ppl wen i c u ppl.. luvs..

Damn la, finally cool down.. aha.. sorry long time no update cozserysly gt nuting to tok abt.. very lame if i make up a stupid subject.. ermm.. nw, erm.. getting a job i tink! AREP!!! biler nak teman aku jumpe manager ko?! lahabau!.. ya.. basically dat.. n ya.. entering poly.. BMB? ahh.. nuting i wan to interfere wif.. dey gt their own heads.. n i guess *sme* ppl are oready clever enuf.. so for wad help ryt? ahahaha.. okokla.. i kinda really nuting to tok abt.. wen i gt sth.. i ryt k.. chaoz .. adios..

fis few daez i've been heartbroken.. y? y?.. y mus he left us nw.. look at us! haiz.. wish u're still arnd.. we need u're guidance.. can u shw us a way or anthr.. a sign or sth.. y? y u left before soo fast.. god love u mre den us.. yul rela.. but sumtyms, i jus wish u're still around..

evryone now.. haiz.. as much as i duwan to disappoint ppl, i can't help it.. bros, dun giv up la.. dey still need us sak.. kalo korg marah abeh, dorg camne? haiz.. i can't see u ppl like dis nw la.. wheres the force of helping others? y because of sme idiots we need to let go evryting? dey put alot of hope on us.. think of helping la.. nt being used.. i'm soo confused la ok.. 1 soo fucked up liao.. guess u're confused n angry, the other forgot ur promises.. y? den wad am i suppose to do? me alone.. haiz.. its e same as pushing a wall.. i guess dis i 1 of my heartbroken posts.. ppl, cme dwn to ur senses, follow the light.. n for my othr 2 bros.. favour ar, wad r we to the band.. n to rif, nv let ppl down.. coz dey wun trust u anymre if u let dem dwn.. even once..

i'm still feeling fucked up.. wow! i wun noe my temper level now very high.. my god! argh! sorry la Z, boy here cannot cool down la! too f-up oready.. dunno la.. to those reading dis.. yeah.. i'm finally very angry for 2006.. can't wait to start skool.. at least gt better tings to do den being f-up..

as for the BMB.. do pray super hard.. n also do ur best.. do n not try! lots of support, -YUL

first ting... FUCK.. pardon me.. jus super angry la.. wad de hell sia.. soo angry bout tt *toot*.. argh.. wadever la.. i dun giv a damn oready.. fuck wif dem! ahahaa.. ok so heres wad happen todae.. hmm or shld i sae plus excerps frm yesterday too.. okok..

dat mr banana say.. "yul, tml meet at bowen at 10am la, i meet fana first".. n ya.. n wen he sae dat, i noe he wun make it la.. 10am sia.. arif? wake up 10am? u tink he wan ar? okok.. den todae, i woke up la.. 7.55am.. aha.. msg dat radzi n arif bout goin bowen.. no reply from both of em.. sleeping duhh.. aha.. den msg fana.. den BEEP!.. finally 1 of em reply.. aha.. dat radzi lazy go morning.. okok.. den i go wif fana at 10am.. coz she gt tings on aftr lunch.. so its me n her.. e 2 crazy x trumz.. aha.. made her wait for me i tink for like 2mins.. feel soo guilty.. cannot lah, ask gerl wait for me.. nt gentleman sia.. aha.. i late coz need to wait for my mama giv $.. she go market uc.. den i miss e bus.. aha.. in frnt of my eyes summore.. aha.. kk.. me go band.. den tok abt 'LIFE' wif fana.. since we gt nuting to do wad.. aha.. okok.. tok2, kutuk2 until she needs to leave liao.. aha.. ok sent her off.. den me ALONE!..

wait for the other 2.. take ages sia.. okla.. den meet em go lunch at LJS.. budget wad.. no $.. aha.. den go back bowen.. get F-up hai.. forget it lah.. cannot make it wan.. dun believe.. aha!!! okok.. nth much we do in band.. sooo boring.. dun feel lyk cming dat often liao.. waste my $ on bus fare.. pay me lah.. 1wk $20.. can cme wan.. aha! okok.. aftr dat we head to Z place see ROCK!.. crappy movie aha.. okok.. den borrow sme sofwares.. aha.. get my skool work n den.. ya.. bck hme! arnd 10.30.. soo early sia.. nv before go hme early.. aha.. soo bored now.. N YA!!!.. finally! my comp no more adware,spyware n tupperware.. wee!

NRIC :
S88XXXXXX
Name :
AYUL
1.
The results of your application are as follows:
Posted Institution
:
TEMASEK POLYTECHNIC
Course Name
:
DIPLOMA IN INTERNET & MULTIMEDIA DEVELOPMENT
Course Code
:
T34
2.
If you are posted to a JC/MI, please report to the JC/MI on 6 Mar 2006 at 7.30am. If you are posted to a Polytechnic/ITE, an enrolment package with the relevant enrolment details will be sent to you.

aha!!! me soo happy.. okokla.. aha! but still i'm finally sumwhere.. duhh! oh well.. i still gt DAE results posting.. c hw it goes la for now heres my lastest post.. c hw i update l8r..

When nuting goes wrong.. all goes well..
hmm.. todae.. hmm.. i kinda lost my memory for todae.. all i remember is dat it took me mre den 4 tyms b4 i finally reach e state of total awakeness.. aha.. oh well.. i seriously forgot sia.. like i was put under a strange spell.. wad did i do todae.. hmm.. can't remember.. hmm.. all i noe is dat i drew maself a picture using paint shop pro.. okok la.. satisfied.. here it is..



hmm.. oh now i remember!!!! arnd evening i try put my fingers on HTML coding as well as CSS.. aha.. using stupid notepad.. at first thing are ok, but den wen mre tingsr added it becme like a rojak.. i dunno wad i'm putting n stuff.. thus i gave up.. stupid sia.. de hmm.. wif those new knwledge.. i went to edit my blog.. frm jus blck n white to now red n black.. aha.. so death colors.. aha.. show u 1 of the edited pic..

from dis..



to dis..



aha.. yea.. do summore blog n frenster edits before BANG!.. my comp gt adware.. shit.. i hate the process of cleanig dis tupperwares.. take lyk 30mins.. still remember the tym.. 5.01pm to 5.27pm.. waste of tym sia.. very the angry.. aha.. hmm.. well.. den at nite watch TV until 1.30am.. den finally online.. aha.. kind of a boring day todae altogether.. c ya..

Woke up as usual wen deres no band, LATE.. damn aha.. my bro using the black box.. oh well.. guess for the whole week mus wait for my turn, coz dis 2nd bro of mine jus luvs the comp as much as i do.. oh man.. mus que sia.. okok.. dats okla.. at least he noes wads he's doing, rather den e othr wan hu surfs for Titsy sites.. disgusting.. okok.. sum of u will probly tink.. ayul is joking ryt.. doesn't he watches dis tings too? well the truth is, i dun really watch.. mayb once in the bluest of moons.. aha.. serious.. dun believe den dun believe ar..

okok.. den i went to brush my teeth.. den eat.. oh well nth much oso.. jus bread wif peanut butter n jelly.. again.. well.. den play dat X Box.. again.. my life seemed very routine ar? Oh well wad can i sae? n to Rachelle Carpio Bangla, dis Oh Wells is a shared document.. it doesn't belongs to Arep.. he uses Arif Rawks.. which he tot is original, but den again.. hav i heard it from sumwhere? Fana Rawks perhaps? oh well..

hmm.. play X Box until sian.. den i turn on the Blacky Box.. msn.. noone.. frenster? boring.. okok.. den i jus go d/l the paint shop pro trial.. kinda kool la.. 30 days of trials.. n finally while waiting to download till finish, i go scrub myself wif bubbles.. aha.. den b4 i close e door.. i shouted to my bros, "strictly dun touch the comp" which i tink dey will jus ignore..

20mins later.. i'm out of the toilet dripping wet n as i predicted.. a shitbag is using the comp.. dat 1 Bro of mine.. nv ask permission wan.. to be exact. i gt back the net connection bcoz of ME.. i passed my maths ok! okok.. den i say.. scram asshole.. n he said wait.. okok.. let him do watever he wans while i go put on my clothes.. woots! den out he goes.. back in msn.. soo boring.. den i let dat bugger use la. until 9pm.. all my msn ppl in.. n lemme c.. Fana's in? she gt dis new hotmail accnt oh well.. added her la.. tok to her bout lotsa stuff.. we long time nv tok.. well.. i c dat both of us nw are in our separate ways.. kinda kool.. ya.. at the same tym tok wif Shanad too.. aha.. miss bubbly.. she keeps on luffing.. n 1 ting her BRB means i'm going offline, c u tml.. fark.. haha.. ok shes a nice person to tok to.. hmm.. ya.. n guess wad.. i've made dis pic of me..

Elvish AyuL



well.. guys.. guess e days over.. a wonderful prata is bside me.. so need to chomp it down soo tempting..



Oh well.. to start it off.. woke up arnd 11am.. den switch on the grey box (TV).. den c lame cartoons.. cyborg 009.. oh gosh! farking lame sia.. den switch off that grey box n on the black box.. wow.. msn got alot of ppl oready.. bt the persons i wanna meet ain't online.. duhh. they're skooling.. shits.. den tok in msn wif sharon the dancer n pei jiao the pa jiao.. oh well.. dey oso wanna go band.. wow! first time.. aha.. den whilst i was busy yawning the morning breaths awae.. 'BEEP!'.. got msg ar.. from Z.. go find work as machine op.. me ok la.. no choice ma.. despo for $.. aha.. meet 2pm at Yishun.. being overly confident.. i took my own sweet n salty time.. bathe slow-slow.. aha.. den 1pm oready.. haven eat sia.. ok.. grab sme peanut butter n jelly n head for the brown wood (door).. okok.. arnd dis tym, 1.40pm, i'm at the bus stop.. fuck! wait for dat 85 bus very long.. damn.. i noe Z waiting liao.. aha.. nvm.. once in a while he wait for me.. aha! okok.. reach Yishun at 2.12pm i tink.. fark.. feel so guilty make ppl wait for me.. coz normally i punctual! fuck e 85 bus driver la.. drive soo slow..

den.. wow its a FACTORY.. make sum stoopid aluminium thingys.. lame.. den the floor so oily.. if i fall ar.. wow.. takle maintain sachok lagi.. aha.. den e supervisor shw us arnd.. or issit jus 1 place.. its like we spent in the factory for only less den 1 syf formation? wow.. ok.. besides the 2 of us still gt dis chinese geek.. yeah.. he looks like a geek.. glasses, fully tucked-in shirt, the way he tok i noe oready.. ok den i look at Z n giv e face.. hw can i live working in dis type of place?! NO LIFE!.. okok.. nt his fault oso.. he oso quite dumb.. so he thought operate machines like those in cartoons.. oh well.. wad can i sae.. den go out.. send Z's mum bck hme.. den head our way to meet mr banana.. damn.. otw still need buy papers.. ok, buy drinks oso..

arrived at Pisang's place arnd 3.15pm.. still mus wait.. but dis tym ok la.. coz normally i wait for Pisang alone.. so boring.. gt Z at least gt ppl to tok to.. hmm.. den go BOWEN.. yea. the band.. duhh.. okok.. we sign in den go bck outside *dis part no nd to noe*.. den go bck BOWEN.. wow! the band soooo good.. crap.. okla.. can see improvements.. both sec 1s n seniors.. hmm.. den do same ting i do whenever i go BOWEN.. go Trumpz lor.. c dem.. okla.. teach Nadia hw to double-tongue.. which i consider ez.. n flutter.. damn.. okok.. i still can play dat instrument.. c Kelly so bad mood.. y? y? dunno.. she nv sae ath.. dun be soo stress la.. kai is dere to help u.. jus ask.. den BAND COMBINE!.. okok.. go field.. soo muddy after rain.. te rain oso make my mood super fucked up.. plus i see kelly so pitiful.. hmm.. dunno y.. i gt angry.. angry wif evrione.. finally release out on Hasanah's side Trumpz.. nv check dressing n WORST nv play music.. angry angry.. hmm.. wad to do..

aftr band collect belt from JY.. soo nice sia.. she bought frm Thai.. wow! although its a fake Levi's, its still nice.. seems very original.. thx ya JY.. need a belt.. aha! den go HP eat wif Sap n Rep.. Z go hme coz mama ask him go hme early.. okok.. i eat that Strawberry Sago! sedap.. worth my $2.20.. consider cheap for strawberry sago.. hmm.. den spent anthr $2.20 on a milkshake.. eee! nt nice.. too thick.. n nv really taste the Choc flavour.. den go *dis part no nd to noe*.. den tok wif members.. skool work n stuff.. luvin it.. den aha! mini min cmes along.. ahh.. tired.. decided not to lepak.. den me go hme wif JY.. so swt.. both soo adorable.. 1 short (JY), the other soo tall (ME).. aha.. wonder wad dose amahs n ah peks tink bout us.. couple? aha! carry her bag u noe.. so swt of me ryt? aha.. i noe.. den take bus 88.. in bus tok abt BAND.. den reach her hse the bus stop liao.. i wanna send her hme but she said its ok.. oklor.. den she wait for my bus.. kool! aha! den took my bus hme.. (FREE SHUTTLE WAN).. i cheapo ma.. den go buy roti.. coz mama ask to buy.. oh well..

go hme.. wanna use comp but Bro Ijad using.. zes.. okok.. i eat lor.. lurv to eat..den ar.. hmm.. play the X box.. bt actually i'm waiting for my turn to use the Black box.. aha.. used it on 12.31am.. damn.. loggin no 1 left on msn except my ex-classmate, Mr Rei Chee-Bai.. aha! he's a cool person.. aha! calls me a mat! cina piang shitbag!.. ok tok to him bout skool stuff..

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